i found this from one of my old post.
If you're currently in a relationship,I have twoquestions to ask you today:
1) How mature are you?
2) how mature is your partner?
The reason I ask you isbecause maturity is an importantfactor that often makes or breaks arelationship. If the"maturity gap" between a couple is toogreat, there'll bea lot of problems with therelationship.
For example, if a man isinterested in raising afamily while a woman is still inthe "I want to partyevery Friday night and dance with mygirl friends" stage,chances are, things are not going towork out in the long-run.
Or, if a woman wants to focuson building a futurewhile the man still acts like acollege boy and plays videogames for 6 hours a day, sooner orlater she'll think he'sa loser and leave for a more ambitiousman. (I see it happenall the time...)
Of course, you may bethinking, "But Max...if this is a problem...how did theyget together in thefirst place?"Well, first of all, in the short-term,attractionis the biggest factor.
If two peopleare attracted to eachother, they will not care aboutmaturity as much. But asI've explained once they getinto a relationship, "Character"and "Intimacy" will comeinto play. A huge "maturity gap"between the couple willlead to little arguments, which overtime will lower theattraction and kill the relationship.Secondly, people change.
Justbecause your girlfriendwas an innocent, trouble-free girl twoyears ago doesn't meanshe will still be the same person intwo more years. Ashumans, we're constantly growing upand re-evaluating our goalsand values in different areas of ourlives - if we're not lazy"losers" anyway. (I know you're not!)
For example, acommon "complaint" that I hear frommy younger readers is that they getdumped after theirgirlfriends enter college or get a newjob.Does it mean these womenare "liars" who didn't keeptheir love vows?
I don't think so. They havejust moved on to a newstage of their lives. The guys shoulddo the same and seewhat's out there instead of justclinging on to theirpasts. We all have to grow up sometime...How about you? Are you aheador are you behind?If you're WAY ahead, then bepatient.
Think aboutthe relationship and see if it fitsyour life-long goals.Don't try to change your partner. Itwon't work. Peoplehave to mature on their own. Sort outyour own prioritiesand see if this relationship isactually good for you.And if you are WAY behind yourgirlfriend, thenyou've got a lot of catching up to do.A LOT of catching up...
Remember the golden rule: Growtogether, and you'llhave a better chance of stayingtogether.
If you're currently in a relationship,I have twoquestions to ask you today:
1) How mature are you?
2) how mature is your partner?
The reason I ask you isbecause maturity is an importantfactor that often makes or breaks arelationship. If the"maturity gap" between a couple is toogreat, there'll bea lot of problems with therelationship.
For example, if a man isinterested in raising afamily while a woman is still inthe "I want to partyevery Friday night and dance with mygirl friends" stage,chances are, things are not going towork out in the long-run.
Or, if a woman wants to focuson building a futurewhile the man still acts like acollege boy and plays videogames for 6 hours a day, sooner orlater she'll think he'sa loser and leave for a more ambitiousman. (I see it happenall the time...)
Of course, you may bethinking, "But Max...if this is a problem...how did theyget together in thefirst place?"Well, first of all, in the short-term,attractionis the biggest factor.
If two peopleare attracted to eachother, they will not care aboutmaturity as much. But asI've explained once they getinto a relationship, "Character"and "Intimacy" will comeinto play. A huge "maturity gap"between the couple willlead to little arguments, which overtime will lower theattraction and kill the relationship.Secondly, people change.
Justbecause your girlfriendwas an innocent, trouble-free girl twoyears ago doesn't meanshe will still be the same person intwo more years. Ashumans, we're constantly growing upand re-evaluating our goalsand values in different areas of ourlives - if we're not lazy"losers" anyway. (I know you're not!)
For example, acommon "complaint" that I hear frommy younger readers is that they getdumped after theirgirlfriends enter college or get a newjob.Does it mean these womenare "liars" who didn't keeptheir love vows?
I don't think so. They havejust moved on to a newstage of their lives. The guys shoulddo the same and seewhat's out there instead of justclinging on to theirpasts. We all have to grow up sometime...How about you? Are you aheador are you behind?If you're WAY ahead, then bepatient.
Think aboutthe relationship and see if it fitsyour life-long goals.Don't try to change your partner. Itwon't work. Peoplehave to mature on their own. Sort outyour own prioritiesand see if this relationship isactually good for you.And if you are WAY behind yourgirlfriend, thenyou've got a lot of catching up to do.A LOT of catching up...
Remember the golden rule: Growtogether, and you'llhave a better chance of stayingtogether.